Elated and Depressed

Home life could not be better. Jesse and I are doing so wonderfully as we come up on our 3 year anniversary. I think I'm going to get him a leather jacket. He's really been wanting one AND leather happens to be the 3 year anniversary gift of choice. Emily is such a doll. I had no idea babies changed so fast. I was away last weekend and I swear she changed in just 3 days. It's insane She's so gorgeous.She's three and a half months old now. Can you beleive it! They've just flown by. She's already trying to hold her bottle by herself. This resulted in a few tears of pride and joy earlier this week. Soon we'll need to baby proof our house because she'll be crawling. Sigh and smile. Work should be going great as well, but it's not. I thought I'd made a really good friend in Dennia but I pissed her off earlier this week and she has made it as obvious as possible that I am scum. It's awful working when your friend is giving you the cold shoulder. I finally called her to find out what the deal is. She just said that I had said something that was disrespectful of her in front of one of our student workers and she was still too mad to talk to me. I just want to cry. I spent all of high school jumping through hoops for my friends and I thought I was finally out of all that. Now here I am again with no idea what I could have possibly said that was so wrong. Honestly, I am really upset that she was mean to me for a week with no explanation instead of looking at me when I said whatever it was and saying, "Hey J, that's not cool." I can't imagine saying anything so bad that it could take her a week to cool down enough to talk to me. She says she may be calm enough to talk on Monday but I need to realize that I have respect her as a co-worker. I am so in the dark. It has also been brought to my attention that people think my boss favors me because of how I look and dress. I just don't get that either. Now I am going to have to be super careful about how I dress for work. Who knew 40 and 50 year old women could be so catty. I hate working where I am not liked. I really like my job and most of the people....it just takes a few bad apples and that really stinks. On the upside, I think Clare and I are starting to rekindle our friendship. She's dunking her ring tomorrow night and I might go. That'll be an experience. I am also having lots of fun with Jessica. Old friends are the best. Hers and Justin's wedding was really a blast. It was a complete disaster, but a blast nonetheless. I really liked playing bridesmaid. Hopefully we can set up a fun couples night soon. We are also planning a trip to either New Orleans or Vegas (woohoo). Old friends and strong drinks until next time, J-

Ahhh motherhood

Omigosh my kid is so beautiful! And I am not biased because everyone says so! If I knew how to post a picture they would be plastered all over this entry (and the next and the next and the next). Emily is such a great baby! She is already sleeping 9 hours at night. Her little nose and full lips are to die for! She looks like her Papa. She's so good, that even labor was easy. I popped her out in only 3 and 1/2 hours. The first two weeks were so surreal, I kept thinking someone was going to come and say "Thanks for babysitting, see ya later." But she's really mine. I've been back at work for a few weeks now so posts will be few and far between and probably short. I'm just waiting for a phone call here at work so I can go home so I have some extra time to post. Putting Emily in daycare was so hard! I cried all day (and I really don't care if that makes me a loser). It seems like everyone had either a rough or blah first week of school. I hope things get better for everyone.

Updating a little late

Ahh the joys of parenthood. Okay so I'm not a parent yet, but I'm pretending to know what it feels like. I am swamped and exhausted! So I told ya'll I'd update after every doctor's appointment, but I've gotten a little behind. In any case, all is still going well so just chalk it up to no news is good news. I've started going almost weekly now so I'll be back in the waiting room on Thurs. My Doctor is so cool! In gerneral I guess people think ob/gyn's are kind of icky, but I just can't think of Dr. Zivney like that. He's so nice and really funny and just cool about everything. It also helps that I am having s close to perfect pregnancy. I hope they are all this good. Not that I want to find out for a few years.Sunday was my baby shower. It was really nice, very intimate. There was a nice generation range there so everyone had someone to talk to. I got so many cute little outfits for Emily and we FINALLY got one of our big items. I'll admit it, I'm in it for the material gain. I really want people to buy me things. We need things. So now Emily has her crib and a play pen and a swing. Still no carseat, stroller, or carrier, but I have one more shower yet. Jesse and I just want to hold off on those big ticket items until know what we're getting. While I sound super material right now, I'm sure everyone understands that we still have to pay our electric bill and house payment and save for the hospital and Emily's daycare. It'a crazy expensive to be grown up! Enough with the whining though, I want to be talking about my nice shower with the yummy cake and the lovely friends and whatnot. So far we've gotten two homemade baby blankets: one from my mom and one from Mrs. Short. Mrs. Short has the most horribly mangled hands on account of arthritis and diabetes, so her handsewn blanket really is full of love. Yay for Mommies of friends! My kid has also been inducted into the service since my cousin and her husband sent a little pink t-shirt that labels Emily as the "Littlest Marine." The adorableness just doesn't end.I am so excited that July is almost here. I cannot wait to see my little girl. I'm already having speration anxiety about putting her in daycare while I'm at work. I mean so far she's been with me 24/7 and I can't even see her or smell her or play with her yet. It's just horrible to think that when I can finally do those things I have to be somewhere without her. I guess that's a mom thing. Jesse thinks I'm being too negative. SHe's going to be so pretty though. I'll just die of pleasure if she gets Jess's dimples! I'll let ya'll know if the due date gets pushed up (which it might since I've already dropped).Tiny little clothes and lavendar baby bath soap,J-

33 weeks, Whew

Okay, I promised to update after every doctor's appt so this is a little late. My appt. was last Weds. It went pretty good though After all the fuss my doctor and nurse made last time about my weight gain they were all smiles and compliments this time around, saying I am gaining at the perfect rate. What! YOU PEOPLE HAD ME STRESSED BEYOND BELIEF FOR NO REASON?! Oh well. However, there is some bad news. The pediatrician we picked is quitting his practice this week and moving away. Pout and stamp foot. Now I have to start interviewing doctors all over again! Oh well. le sigh. I can't beleive I have less than 7 weeks to go. I've been and in reality I could have anywhere from 4 to 8 weeks left. Still, there isn't a whole lot of time.Hopefully we'll get some much needed baby things at my shower. NOTHING is ready! And I don't mean in that panicky nesting way, I mean NOTHING. We have no car seat, no high chair,no bottles, the baby furniture still needs to be repaired, the closet still needs to be finished so we can stop storing things in the baby's room... The list just goes on and on. To top it off, Jesse was a little befuzzled with me yesterday. He says I've been too stressed out to show any sort of happiness about the baby and that I seem more resentful than anything. That was pretty hurtful. He was really just trying to show how concerned he is because I've been extra pregnant lately with lots of crying, but it sort of turned into a blamefest. He thinks I'm resentful and I don't really think he's prioritized right. He always comes through for me though, but I didn't really show him a lot of faith last night. So that's what's up here. Hopefully some of the stress will be alleviated after my shower at the end of the month. That sounds pretty sucky (as in I won't be happy until people buy me things), but we need a little help and I have no problem admitting that. I hope everyone else is having a good summer!

Doctors and Babies and Calories and Such

The third trimester is here. I will be 30 weeks pregnant tomorrow. Can you believe it? I can't. I went to the doctor yesterday, which did not go as well as I had hoped. They are concerned with my weight gain (I'm putting on 2 pounds a week, bringing my total gain to 22 pounds) and want me to start watching my calories. I have never counted calories in my life! So far today I have counted 755. I'm not really even sure how much I'm supposed to have. One article I read said to take my pre-pregnancy weight and multiply by 12 to get the proper calorie intake That means I should have 1368 calories a day and I am already more than halfway there with just breakfast (cereal with raisins, milk, and half a bagel with cream cheese). Does that seem messed up to anyone else? I also have a bacterial infection which COULD cause my membranes to rupture (my water to break) early. It's in a really early stage though so we aren't all that worried Still, it kind of sucks to have something new to worry about. Lastly, I am anemic again and have to take iron twice a day. At first the doctor got onto me for not taking my iron anymore and letting myself get like this and I'm like "whoa doc, I take an iron supplement every night on top of my prenatal." So at that he raised his eyebrows and said "take two and increase your fiber." Really, though I still feel pretty good. I'm getting some pressure at work about what's going to happen while I take time off to have the baby and it's sort of disheartening. My boss is way encouraging, but some of my coworkers, I think, are jealous of the time I get off and are saying some kind of mean things about it. I guess I'll do my best to make me and Jesse happy so we keep our household running smoothly. Screw the meanies. In other news , I was in Denton this past weekend to watch Hava and Ryan graduate. Such a nice couple! Ryan's family must adopt me and feed me chicken rice casserole and let me come to their nice house. It was a great Sat. Last night Miss Sarah came over for dinner. She's so sweet. We talked about her new apartment and getting her a job. She might be here the whole summer and that would be so nice. Hava will be extra enticed to come visit now! That's not it, but that's all I have time for. Y'all be good this summer! Love, J-

Just as I suspected

Went to see Dr. Zivney yesterday and took a look at my baby girl! Yup, that's right, I'm going to have a baby girl. Emily Dawn Gatlin. Currently she weighs 1 and 2/3 pounds. We were lucky that she had just eaten so her tummy and bladder were full which meant we got to see those too. If they are empty they are basically invisible. However, seeing them full tells us she is swallowing and that her kidneys and bladder are working just fine. We also watched and listened to her heart beat and saw all four chambers working just fine. It beats so fast! We took a look at her head and tiny little spine and then we got a nice juicy shot of her crotch. She really wanted us to know that it is a girl on the way. She mooned us and then spread wide open to display the lack of outdoor plumbing. It was really a neat experience. Jesse was so sure it was going to be a girl he had a pink rose waiting for me in the car. (Isn't he dreamy?!) While we were at the doctor's office we checked my blood sugar and iron levels. My iron is way up so we are relieved and my blood sugar is below 140. No anemia or diabetes here. Lastly, I now weigh 128, three pounds up from last month. It finally all seems real! Soon we'll go to Houston to the Build a Bear store and make a little girl bear for our little girl's room. Her first sentimental present from Mommy and Daddy. YAY!!!!

Puppies!

So many new puppies!! What girl does not love baby animals!? Even, better: they are not mine so I do not have to clean up the poopy. My friend Dennia just got a brand new chihuahua which she named Timmy. No one really likes the name Timmy (not even her) but it is the only thing she could settle on. I suggested Bosco. Anyway, Timmy came over and tried to play with Porter for an hour yesterday. Porter was totally obsessed with the puppy. He would not leave it alone. He herded it and cleaned it and rolled it over and stared at it. It was really cute, but sort of annoying. He was so intent on keeping Timmy in his sight he peed right on the back porch so he wouldn't have to take his off him while he walked to the grass! Later I went to see my parent who cooked me brisket while Jesse is out of town. Their 10 year old schnauzer just passed so they got two new schnauzers! They are the cutest little boys and only 5 weeks old. The mother dried up so the breeders sold them really early. Fritz and Hans are adorable. They are really playful and fight just like brothers should. Hans learned to bark last night and Fritz is trying to figure out which of his four legs is the best one to lift while he pees. Fritz is totally independent and tries to climb stairs and wander the house on his own. Hans (the bigger of the two) is way laid back and just wants to chill and play with socks. The funniest thing in the world is watching them eat. They just dive right in with all four feet and nose and tongue and get food everywhere! It's the greatest. And then I get to go home or Dennie gets to leave to go back to her life and I do not have to be kept awake at night by crying and defecation. I love this! Tiny furballs and big smiles, J-

Bragging

I am totally throwing it in everyone's face that I was able to attend the best forum ever! Okay, I've never been to a forum before Monday night, but I can definitely say that I enjoyed attending my first one. We had a leadership forum at the George Bush library featuring David Carr, Dom Capers, Larry Dierker, Jim Nantz, and hosted by none other than former President George Bush Sr! Hell yeah! It was really good. I love working here! David Carr has got to be my new hero. I'm not big on football so I may be out of line, but it is such a nice change to hear a professional athlete talk about God and passion and good character and seem sincere as opposed to running his jaw then getting arrested for drugs or relations with a minor or something else disgraceful. I was truly inspired by everyone there (Okay mostly by the President, Carr and Nantz, but whatever). Yay for feeling inspired to be a good role model! Heroes to you all, J-

Another update as promised

Well it is spring break here and I am celebrating my two days off by working. Actually, it's kind of nice because it is so quiet. I can get a lot done (as is evident by my spending time updating my journal). Yesterday I saw the baby doctor. My blood pressure and weight are good. I've gained a total of 13 pounds. They are still a little concerned by how low my iron is. It hasn't come up at all even though I am taking a prenatal and an iron supplement. It can't be too bad though because they didn't increase my iron supplement at all. April 14th is the day we try to find out the sex of the baby. Aren't you all just breathless with excitement?! So without further segue I can jump into telling you about the rest of my life. Jesse is super excited because he is going to Minneapolis for training on a machine called a rimage. It can make thousands of copies of DVDs and CDs and print labels with National Geographic photo quality. Okay, so the machine and all it's capabilities don't exactly get me all hot bothered, but this training might mean a promotion and some sales commission for Jesse in the near future. Carrie and Clint's wedding is finally all over and they are safely on their honeymoon. Thank goodness. Hopefully it will be a long while before we have to see Kim Nate again. To make myself feel better I am pretending that this page is filled with all the catty comments I would like to make about Kim, Nate, Carrie, and Clint. In reality, I will just say that it has never been so painfully obvious that I was not liked and we left the reception relatively early. Carrie and Clint do have some awesome friends though. We are like in love with this one couple, Richard and Amanda. We're going to be calling them soon because they recommended some book about child rearing at a time when most everybody was drunk and we can't remember the title. But crack me up! These people rocked! My kitty is also gone. I can't believe how long it took for us to find her a home. I really miss her and I think Porter does too. Jesse is so very very happy she is gone. Oh well. It's nice that my husband can breathe. I guess that's about it. I really should get some work done. Hopefully I'll hear from Miss Hava soon. I am now pretending to slip in a guilt trip about her not calling me when she promised, but will refrain as it's been a while since I picked up a phone and dialed her number. Much love and midnight thunderstorms to everyone, J-

18 Weeks, well almost...

I decided that since I saw the Baby doc today it might be nice to give a little update. Maybe if I try to update after every appt. the stretch between entries will not be so long. But hey, it's not my fault it is so much more interesting to read about y'all's lives than it is to write about mine. Anyways... All is very well. I'm a little anemic, which was expected and easily fixed. Dr. Zivney says I should feel the baby in about 2 weeks. SO EXCITING! Jesse surprised me by showing up at the appt. He hates going and he hates how the doctor is always late and he hates how rude the nurses can be, so the effort he made today was a nice surprise. Yay for the tiny little person inside me. In April we will find out if we're having a boy or a girl. Weeee! Everything else seems to be going really well. My job is still fun even though I'm cross training on the world's most monotonous job. Vouchers Ugh! This weekend is Carrie and Clint's wedding shower. I'm excited because I've never been to a co-ed shower before, but I'm also pretty anxious. I know that most of the people who will be there allow me to tag along simply because they like Jesse so much. Carrie and Clint's opinion of me is pretty low. Kim and Nate will also be there. I still go through spells of hating them and being indifferent. Last week I hated them but this week I am indifferent. I faced them at their own apartment while Ben was here so I know it isn't going to be all kinds of drama on my part. Jesse, however, hates them all the time and hasn't had to put up with them in forever. All this rigmarole with C&C sort of brings up another problem. I have this friend who keeps kind of pushing me to the side. When we first started hanging out I thought we had a ton in common, but I guess she doesn't agree. It just kind of reminds me how different I am from other folks my age simply because I'm married. It'll be even more exaggerated once the kid gets here. I mean I don't even have friends call me up and just ask if I wanna go to the mall. It's just a little weird to me. All in all everything is going pretty well. And now I must get back to work. Later. Love, J-

So I'm at work which means I'll need to keep this short, but I promised and update so... It's weird: You'd think that with the pregnancy I'd want to update all the time so I could have a nice little chronicle of this all important once in a lifetime event to look back on. However, with some of my emotions running a little high I spend more time worrying about what might come out of my mouth than I do actually talking (or journaling as the case may be). I find I irritate rather easily, but I still spend a majority of my time in a good mood. (Strange don't you think?) Fun times have ensued though. My belly still seems small for having entered my fourth month, but I won't complain too much. I keep waiting to feel the baby. According to my book I should have felt it at 10 weeks, but no such luck. I rub my tummy all the time hoping to stimulate it into doing the same thing back (heehee). I am so excited! I want a girl...no a boy...no a girl...no a boy! I just want!

I will update soon....really..I will. I promise!

Its been awhile...

It has been quite awhile since my last post, but this will prolly be short. I usually only have a chance to check lj when I'm at work and if I'm at my computer I'm expected to be working whether I am clocked in or not. The holidays were so lovely. I enjoyed lots of family and good food. Christmas is really my favorite time of year. I found the most awesome new store! It's a resale shop but it's extremely trendy. Yay for Express and Abercrombe fashions for just $6. I love it! I am so glad to be back at work though! Two weeks off is nice, but I rarely had anything forcing me out of the house which tends to make me lazy and grumpy. I will miss the naps though. I don't have time to go home and nap on my lunch break so I guess I'll just have to make sure I get to bed sooner. I also have to exercise. I'm a small person normally but right now I feel gigantic. I just want to have my prepregnant body back post baby. I think I'll be happier if I stay in shape during the whole mess anyway. I miss Clare. She's home for the holidays and won't be back for another week. Of course by the time she gets back I won't be able to go out the way we used too. I say she's home loosely b/c she's been bounding all over the place for the holidays. She even went skiing with a bunch of pals for new years. Can you sense my jealousy. I want a bunch of friends to go on a road trip with. Okay, back to work!!! I guess my version of short is rather lengthy, but hey...I'm sure you all needed an update. Happy new year and health food for everybody! J-