Wednesday, December 23, 2009

How to annoy me

Decide 45 degrees is an optimal temperature for wearing your micro-mini and stilettos.  I don't care how acclimated you are to the climate, bundling yourself in four layers from the crotch up does not ensure your bare legs will remain warm.  Can't you look down and see that part of you has turned into a blueberry?!

Friday, December 18, 2009


The thing with small towns is you can never make them any bigger. Big cities, however, can be as small as you want them to be. You never really have to leave a certain area. Somehow that's comforting.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

There are some things I'll never understand

Among those things is snow. And the way people react to snow. Oh sure, I enjoy seeing my city transformed into a blanketed hamlet all sparkly and pure. That is to say, I enjoy seeing my city transformed when I can do so from the comfort of my centrally heated apartment while sipping french press coffee. Snow looks all nice and fluffy and sparkly, but IT IS NOT, in actuality, nice and fluffy. It is cold. And wet. Did I mention cold?

I also do not understand some of the things people do in the snow. Really? You want to lay down in all that cold wetness and flutter your arms? The other night Em and I watched The Nightmare Before Christmas (good flick). Jack the Pumpkin King discovers Christmas Town in all its snowy glory. He says "What's this?" Then he proceeds to pick up a handful of snow (which is totally new and unidentifiable to him) and put. it. in. his. mouth. Okay people, just because something is sparkly and white does not mean it is safe to eat. I have never in my life decided to pick a cold and wet mass up off the ground and STICK IT IN MY MOUTH. Why would anyone make such a decision? Okay, let me amend that: why would anyone who is neither a dog nor under the age of five make such a decision?

There are just some things I'll never understand.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Do you see what I see?

At work on Tuesday the Fed-ex man was incredulous when he found out no one had ever told me I look like Rene Russo. Dude, I'm so not seeing it.
Rene Russo circa Lethal Weapon 4:

Eh, I'll take take the compliment anyway.