Monday, February 28, 2005

Decisions and Baby talk

Hi Folk, I'm unusually slow at work so I have a little time to update. I know you've all missed me so. Emily is fabulous! This is my favorite age so far. she can be a pill at home where there's not much for her to look at and listen to, but she is an absolute angel in public. She loves people and basketball games and being outdoors. She smiles and kicks and coos and is trying to wave and clap. All is bliss in babydom. Until you have kids you have no idea you can love someone this much. You just want to break your heart in two so the pieces will mend back bigger. Sometimes I can't breathe I love her so much! It's great. She's beautiful - I never knew I could make something so beautiful. Other stuff is not as blissful as babydom. Jesse is getting more and more frustrated with his job and he sometimes brings his bad mood home, which is not usual for him. I really really think he should go back to school. I think he'd be happier in the long run with a degree. It seems like no one really cares what your degree is in as long as you have one. I am trying hard to stifle my bossy bone. He just keeps looking for jobs with no success and I feel the lack of institutional learning is the reason. Not everyone can tell Jesse is a genius by looking at a resume. He practically has a photographic memory and can absorb info like nobody's business. He's daunted by the amount of debt school would put us in and his current job will hear nothing of him going back. They are such assholes sometimes. Le sigh. My job is going pretty well though. Now that I've been here over a year I see more holes in the system. Working in the business office can be hard because you see all the benefits the coaches reap. Generally I'm okay with it, but I do get a little green every so often. I would love a new car. Getting a baby in and out of a 2-door car is rough. I would love to have more hobbies, but hobbies are expensive. I guess everyone gets a little material every now and then. Jesse has looked for jobs in other towns, which is daunting because I like my job enough to make a career out of A&M Athletics. I don't have a desire to leave. I feel like I am finally finding balance between mom, employee, wife, friend and just Janice and the idea of moving and disrupting all of that is daunting. On the other hand the prospect of living in San Marcus or Round Rock or Conroe is nice to ponder. I just don't know what will happen. This entry is becoming very long. We are planning a trip to Vegas in August. We found really cheap flights and a good price on the New York-New York hotel and casino. That's five stars baby! My parents are going to get us tickets to a Cirque show as our birthday gifts. I am very excited. Yay for tax refunds. Maybe I'll win some money. Maybe I'll win enough to buy a car. A girl can dream.