On the use of similes:
"What!? You keep staring at me like I'm some kind of block of ice."
On giving valid testimony:
"I would know because I was there! I'm the one it didn't happen to!"
On loosely related topics:
"It amuses you? Well I know how to make music with bottles."
"Did you know there is a dog that looks like a llama? Its called a collie."
Oh Em, I love you.