Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Feeling up, feeling down

Oh yes, I am Janice the yo-yo. I'm up, I'm down. I'm crushed, I'm not taking it personally. I'm hyper, I'm wiped out. Geez, what a ride. Sometimes I don't even know where I am anymore.This weekend I move. I had sort of (and by sort of, I mean really really badly) hoped to make it into a big party. This is an example of one of my created memories. In my head I had manufactured this fantastic day where all my friends would swarm to my house in a rush of support, move my stuff in a matter of hours and then proceed to unwind with a good meal and lots of celebratory drinking to commemorate me getting into my own place for the first time. Not so much. In reality, I had so few people actually available this weekend that my mom hired a moving company. I know I should be grateful and I know that I should not take this personally. People are busy in the summer. I think really I'm just sad that I'm not the center of attention. Sometimes I just worry that I'm a whim with people. Its that paranoia thing at work, but knowing that does not make it any easier to control.Last night I fixated my newly acquired Calculus knowledge in my mind by having a margarita (okay, two) at Ozona's with Sheila, her mom, Jacob, Horatio and Ben. It was a good time until the end when Horatio let Sheila know that half the department has been commenting on her infidelity as of late. Oh...My...God! Have you people even met Sheila?! A beautiful, smart, sweet girl can end a marriage for reasons other than sex! Believe me, the news hit Sheila hard and had me hot! Our office is ridiculous. This is Bryan-College Station people, not Passions, the Athletic Department! Some people just need to to cool it or perhaps have their tongues cut out. Grrr! At least I got to see Sheila, which is always nice even if the night had a rough ending. We currently have plans to do dinner on Thursday and possible hang this weekend. Yay.I am still very much enjoying school. I hate calculus, but I really like my calculus class. I just like going to class. Makes me feel important. I have two study groups tonight and I'm meeting new people. I'm pretty anxious about tomorrow's test so I'm thinking of taking off work early and hitting a math tutorial at 4. I kind of feel bad now for all those times I turned my nose up at Elaine when she took time off work to handle school. Well, I guess I'm a bitch and a hypocrite, but I'm sure life will go on. And speaking of work, I think I'll get back to that now.Wish me luck!

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