I hate it when you leave, but I'll always watch you go

It is probably just a silly act by a hopeless romantic, but when people leave I always watch them drive away. I hate it when people leave, but I somehow have to watch them go. What if they looked back and I wasn't there wishing they could've stayed? Hava and Ryan came to see me and Emily for her birthday celebration this weekend. I love time with Hava. Ryan is fantastic too and I wouldn't want to leave him out, but I adore having time with Hava. She is almost always my champion no matter how pitiful my complaint. We had a great time. You would have thought I was drunk all last night we were so silly together. I always learn a little something about the way the world works when she's here and I always smile. She was almost shocked at how different I am from the Janice of the past few years. I suppose it is possible that I've been depressed for a lot longer than I thought. Ryan and Emily totally bonded this weekend and when she wakes from her nap she's going to be upset that he's gone. He's such a big kid that they got along brilliantly. She had a great weekend mostly because of him. I need to find more friends who take to my kid like that. I still get the idea that most of them find her kind of off-putting. Sarah got to come by for a few hours last night as well and we watched the strangest movie together. Such good times! I love out of town company. Perhaps there is a river trip in the works for August and maybe we'll take Em to Brenham for a big ice cream tour. Okay, so a late night has left me zonked so I think I'll catch some Zs while my kid naps before I head to work. I'm feeling nice and even after my sweet weekend so perhaps I'll get good sleep.