Friday, June 9, 2006

slipping into dreams...

Found a new website today: AMAZING. I got lost looking at all the paintings and photographs. I had forgotten how much I love art. When I get into my new place I'm filling the walls with black and whites. I can hardly wait to have a blank canvas so to speak. My whole new life is black and white and I am slowly adding the color. I think I'm starting to love this. I still hate being lonely, but the alone time is less bad. It's good dreaming time. It's almost sweet to remember that I once wanted to be a writer; that I love the color red as much as I love blue, but not so much with yellow; that pizza tastes better than anything else on a Friday night and pie is good for breakfast. I had forgotten how moldable I am. I have definitely have opinions, but I get caught up in other people's excitement and take it on for my own. I love to share your passions, but I think I'll try to hold onto myself a little more firmly this time. I think I'll buy a CD even though someone else could make me one. I think I'll watch The Gilmore Girls season by season because I have always wanted to watch it. I think I'll grow my hair out and get red streaks put in it. I think I'll get a tan and maybe buy a short skirt. I'm definitely going to get pink sheets - hot pink because I have always wanted to. I'll take Emi to the beach some day on a whim. I'll buy cute underwear for bad days I think I'll lust after someone for a while again and daydream that they are doing it back. And I'll take more pictures and I'll turn them black and white and hang them on my walls.

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