Thanksgiving

I'm covering the front desk again so I have a little time to update before the holiday. In reference to may last and slightly depressing post, Lisa's funeral was...weird. I had forgotten how secluded our friendship was. I'm not even sure if secluded is the right word. Soon after we met Lisa changed churches and we never went to the same school so when we were together it was usually just the two of us. I was not ever involved with her extracurricular activities or her other friends. I has no idea she had become a youth director at a nearby Methodist church. I was like being at the funeral for a stranger. I'm glad I went though because it sort alleviated the empty feeling that came in place of mourning. I didn't take advantage of the open casket either because I wasn't sure if she would look all that good after her wreck. There was, however, a large collage of her pictures and quotes. She wrote all sorts of funny and loving things and she had really become so pretty. You absolutely cannot imagine a smile like Lisa's. The little girl I knew was still there in the pictures and sayings too. I'm sure the service was really personal to those that had been with her these last few years, but that board really meant more to me than the funeral. There is really no good segway (sp?) between funerals and other life matters so I will now just blatantly state that I am now on facebook.That's about it for now. Happy Thanksgiving!

Hollow

My friend died. Or she used to be my friend and we grew up and apart in that gradual painless way that's kind of rare. In any case, she died and there is just this emptiness in place of where I didn't think of her anymore. Some people wish they could cry because that would mean the knot in their stomach or chest or throat would melt and wash away and some of the pain would go with it. But there's no knot or pain or tears. Just empty. It's so empty that I actually feel like it would be fruitless to cry; like there wouldn't be enough tears to fill the space. Emily is in bed and Jesse is gone. And my friend who was only 23 died when she swerved to miss a cow. Her mom died in August and I cried as soon as I heard the news. Why don't I cry for Lisa? She really was someone who deserves to have people cry for her too, you know? When we were 12 we exchanged little gold bracelet broken hearts that said "Best" and "Friend" and I can't even cry. In middle school we wrote little story lines about horses named Flash and Kali and Blazer and Stacy. They were quit silly. My mom wants to go the funeral and I think I might want to go too, but not with her. That's probably not very nice, but I just don't think she'll understand. She'll want to hug me and I don't want to be touched. I just want to be able to cry and feel whole.

And the days go by

It is Monday and thus another fabulously busy weekend has passed. Thursday was mine and Jesse's 4 year anniversary. I was spoiled rotten with a fabulous dinner at Cafe Capri and a very very nice gift. He thinks of everything. Friday we celebrated Grandma's birthday at Oxford Street (not my favorite, but it wasn't my birthday). Grandma loved the necklace and earrings we had made for her. I was so relieved. They are really beautiful and will look so nice on her. She's a lady who really knows how to accessorize. Saturday I took Grandma and Emily to a horse show. They were both soooo cute! Grandma knows everything about horses and would tell me all kinds of things about their personalities and the ones she used to own. Emily would clap whenever anybody else clapped so every team was represented equally in the Emi Gatlin section of the bleachers We walked around and looked at the horses in their stalls which Emily loved until one horse sneezed near her and scared the wapoo out of her. Grandma would blow in the horses face so they could get her scent and it was so cute to watch Emily clutch my shoulder for dear life and blow at the horses from 4 feet away. She is such a little mimic! In the evening we got to go to the Men's Basketball game for an hour before bedtime. It's nice that SOME of our teams are winning. That was tacky, but it's true. The game was fun, especially since Clarise came with. We had nowhere near enough time to catch up, but we had fun anyway. Sunday was Catharine's baby shower. It was a huge success in my book. Everyone had fun and the cake was just gorgeous! I love when things go well. Catharine seemed to enjoy herself and she got a lot of really really nice gifts. The only downside was getting the rejection letter from A&M. I guess I'll try again in the fall. It's just means we'll have to wait that much longer before we can have another kid. In the meantime we're going to try to move so I've started working on that. My neighborhood was just too creepy on Halloween night. It's time to get into a more family neighborhood. I'm nervous about talking to the real estate agent because the market is starting to change. The timing isn't ideal, but we need to get into a different house before interest rates go any higher. We can make payments for a good nine months before we have to pay for school if I get in for the fall. We'll see. Have a great week! J-

Loads of Fun

The first weekend of November has come and gone bringing with it the month of endless planning and fun! Friday night was La BoDrinkie night. After missing a month, it felt even better than usual despite me wanting to hurry home and see Emi before bedtime at 8. Clare came with her friend Wendy. It is always fun to have new recruits at La BoDrinkie. Saturday morning brought an early rise and getting ready for my trip to Dallas for Hava's bridal shower (the first of 3)! I only got lost like 3 times and arrived shortly after the party began. It was a nice little party, just the way Hava wanted it since it was being thrown by her sister, mother and future moth-in-law. My team won the toilet paper wedding dress competition thanks, in part, to my toilet paper rosettes. I know, you wish you had mad skills like me. After chilling at the Rollo's house for a while (where I discovered how much I love the other bridesmaids - Michelle, Wendy and Tracey). I met up with Sarah in Denton (got lost once). I love Sarah more every time I see her. She is just a cool gal, with good hair to boot! I had no idea she had such a flair for decorating, but her apartment looks fantastic. It's decorated perfectly for two single co-eds finishing up school. We had dinner at Red Lobster (so yummy), dessert at Beth Marie's (homemade egg-nog ice cream) and then it was party party party. We went to Gilley's in Dallas and yes, I conquered the mechanical bull! Okay, so I got thrown over it's horns after a few seconds...I still looked good while I stayed on and I think I stayed on longer than most. I feel sorry for those Dallas girls though because all the cowboys at the club that night were of the strictly urban variety. Why wear a cowboy hat if you can't even two step? I only slept about 5 hours before getting ready for Sunday. I took Sarah and her roomie Kathryn to a late breakfast at Cracker Barrel (mmm, blueberry pancakes). Afterwords I headed to Grapevine (got lost twice) to watch Hava get ready for her brial portraits and then we went to Las Colinas in Irving for the actual portraits. Of course my girl looked fabulous and it was more fun times with the other bridesmaids (except Michelle, who I missed). We ended the day with a wonderful dinner at Uncle Ira's in Plano (got lost once) where I got to partake in his unbelievable iced tea! That tea is so addictive it isn't even funny. I LOVE it! Then I drove home (no getting lost), slept all day Monday and was back at work Tuesday. I felt bad taking off Monday but I had this cold and sounded like a teenage boy going through puberty. It was just sad. I'm mostly better now. Now I can get on with the rest of my busy month. Tomorrow is my 4 year wedding anniversary and my Grandma's birthday. Friday we're actually celebrating my Grandma's birthday. We can finally give her the custom necklace and earrings I designed and had made for her. They are so pretty, I can't wait. Sunday is Catharine's baby shower which I am helping to host and then I can concentrate more on Hava's second bridal shower the weekend of the 19th. Then Thanksgiving, then Christmas, then wedding! Whew!