Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Steal me these memories

I'll bet you didn't know this but you can make memories out of things that haven't happened yet. Well maybe you can't, but I can...and do. Evidently I do this too much. Yesterday (before hitting the hedonistic stage of my evening) I went to the psychiatrist. (Janice makes a contemptuous face here because she likes going but hates to admit she needs it) The personality quirk I have to work on: stop planning ahead so much. Apparently, I am in a hurry to do everything I haven't ever done. (Well duh, who wants to wait to start having fun). So then I build up a whole scenario around how the particular event will be and then am frustrated when it takes a while to happen or doesn't come off at all or happens differently than imagined. So I am now supposed to plan things only short term and put out of my head all of the long term stuff so as to keep my sanity. Right. So no more talking about DC in December or Study Abroad next summer or moving out of BCS whenever. I'm supposed to focus on get done with Summer Session I, sell house, continue divorce process, get more efficient at work (witness how well that is going). Apparently all that and Emily make my plate pretty full. Excepting School and Emily, does any of that sound fun to anyone? No. Do trips to the river and DC and concerts sound fun? Why yes they do. So now comes the question of balance. How about I still plan for DC while I involve myself with School and work and kid etc. Perhaps I could throw in some movies and a trip to the beach as well. But I will try to put out of mind trips out of the country and moving. I'll try to make my own memories of this extremely exciting, explorative time in my life instead of recreating the ones I think other people have. And I renew my resolve to take more pictures to capture the stories should I forget how good I really have it.

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