Tuesday, May 2, 2006

And time marches on, but not steadily

It is May. I can't believe it is May. The weeks seem like they've just been dragging by and then they are gone and I wonder where they went. I think part of that is due to me not really sleeping making 2 and 3 days run together into one really long day. But sleep seems to be coming more easily now. I've spent two whole nights in a row sleeping on my bed (on, not in). I have to wash blankets now, but I haven't had to change my sheets so I guess that's the bright side.I signed a lease yesterday and now i'm asking myself why. I thought I was thinking ahead and sparing myself the trouble of finding an apartment at a hectic pace when the house sells. As with so much that I'm doing these days, I realize that this is actually worse. Now, if the house doesn't sell, I am locked into a house payment (by myself) and a lease (by myself). Good job Janice. If all goes well, I'll sell the house next week. If it goes mediocre I won't sell the house right away but I can get a renter for the summer or something. I could just charge the amount to cover my apartment so I won't really be any worse off. The worst that can happen is I either make two payments and drain my savings (what little there is now) and my credit or I pay to break my lease. I've decided I don't really like to think about all this so I'm going to go back to my theory of, I can do whatever I HAVE to do. No really, I can. Really.In other news, I've basically managed to wheedle my way into more emotional trouble. And here's another pat on the back for me. The process of reassuring an old friend that he is indeed wonderful and can indeed win the girl turned in to a big banter session that ended in a proposition more serious than not. Great. I've already maxed out my emotional availability on a former situation and a semi present situation so this is really just pushing the limit. I just never know when to quit. So now I think I've accepted an offer that I am not sure I can follow through with no matter how much history is there. In fact, I don't think I can handle this just because of the history that's there. Unfortunately, I think a refusal of said proposition will result in just as much issue as an acceptance and follow through. I can only hope he gets tied up before I see him again and becomes emotionally unavailable himself. I have now managed to become the typical 20 something bubleheaded flirt. The lesson here, don't try to deflect compliments by returning them and check to make sure everyone in the conversation is on the same page about what's a joke and what isn't.There is actually good news today that, so far, has no bad taste to accompany it. (Wipe that surprised look off your face, I don't complain ALL the time.) I am on a softball team. Not just any softball team. I am on the Victoria Secret College Station softball team. On June 4th we will be competing against the Brazos Valley Firefighter trainees. And oh dear me, but how will a bunch a of lil girls like us defeat those young, buff, high performing firemen? I am so glad you asked. VS store manager, and my personal hero, Jessica, has added some stipulations to the firefighters uniform. They must come dressed in their fire station issued pants, suspenders and hat. And nothing else. NOTHING else. . And they accepted said stipulation. So it is entirely possible that there will no good looking fire-school boys present on June 4, but anticipation is more than half the fun and I do so enjoy having something to look forward to.

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