Hair

I have long known that I feel worse on any given bad hair day than on a day when I have, say, PMS, the flu, a grumpy kid or any combination of other funk-inducing maladies.  It is, therefore, imperative that we discuss my hair.

I currently have the longest hair ever sported by my head.  It now falls past my collar bone and I can do long-craved hair moves such as flipping it over my shoulder, gathering it all to one side, and pulling it out of my collar when I put on a shirt.  All of these are dreams come true for a once seven-year old with perpetually bobbed hair. It is gloriously long! Well, for me, anyway.

Then, all of a sudden it developed a funk. Or a film. Or something indescribably groddy. The hair just above my ears and all the hair in back starting about two inches from my scalp feels like it needs to be washed. All. The. Time. There is some sort of residue there and it is gro-o-o-o-ss. I have done everything to make it stop.  I washed my hair with baking soda.  I rinsed with vinegar.  I used a clarifying shampoo.  I stopped washing it every day and, therefore, spent about four days a week looking not unlike a bag lady.  I switched to washing it one day and then only rinsing it the next. I gave up all styling products. And still: groddy.

I am not in the habit of photographing the back of my head because I evidently took it for granted that it would always look decent back there. Shame on me! Now, I cannot provide great pictorial proof of my formerly bouncy, shiny, clean hair. But take my word for it, I have generally had pretty good hair. But lately my finally long hair has to spend time trapped in bobby pins and a pony tail holder as I desperately try to hide the fact that it looks and feels like this:

Help me!