Sunday, October 1, 2006

Oh where to start...I've been talking to Ben daily lately. It's practically the only time I feel good these days. I'm not sure what to think of that. He and Kim have been fighting something awful. I love the way he confides in me and I wish I still had her to do the same. Funny isn't it? This kind of brings me to a point. Last night while Ben was telling me about his recent and repeated arguments with Kim he sort of struck something in me. Apparently Kim is insistent upon having the same fight over and over again and then coming to the same conclusions. Gee Janice, relate much? Ben told me that he thinks it might just be a military thing but that he has no problem letting go of things. You enjoy them while you have them and then when they change or the situation changes you move on. Maybe I should spend a little time thinking about that. How do you change that you hold onto things, I wonder. How do you stop your mind from dwelling and your heart from longing; even when you know things will never be like they were. I suppose in my case I also have to add even when things are not what you imagined. I wonder if I would be happier if I could crack that little secret...

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