She flips a penny over but just so she can pick it up for luck

Oddly, I don't really feel like journaling today, but I somehow feel that I ought to. I suppose I want to sort of keep track of my life these days so I can look back on it and see it a little better. I have no idea...This weeken was Alfee's last in College Station. I guess I was due for a few days of extreme ups and downs. It's been some time. Nothing was particularly horrible about it. Saturday was early as it usualy is with Emily. Her dad was late picking her up because he overslpet. Still, after he took me to drop off my car for repairs (goody) I managed to get a lot done. Cleaned the whole house, finished some laundry, sorted through a pike of paperwork. After that I was off to tailgate before the football game (by myself ). I love Catharine's group of friends. Then came the rain. It was some pretty fantastic rain with awesome lightening. Sadly, this delayed the game by 2 hours, but the company was good. I did not manage to stay for the whole game. I was hungry! So before halftime I took the hike back to Reed arena for my (Donna's) car and headed home to get ready for Northgate with Alfee.Really, except for some horrendously frizzy hair, I looked pretty good. So did Alfee, who really always has. Brian and Anne came and then I met Jimmy and Robin and Adeena. It was a fun group. tHe drinking was good, the chatter was fun, memory lane had a nice path beaten down it once again. It wasn't long before we had to hit Alfee's bar, so to Harry's we went. And then there was Jesse. I was so angry. Really I know that he has every right to be there. Still, it was his weekend with Emily, why was he there? Emily was with his parents. Oh, of course. What was I thinking? Evidently she stays with them every weekend that he has her. It really makes me mad. It was everything I could do to smile and walk away and then then contain the sobs that were burning in my chest. I really have no place to judge what he does with her anymore. sHe seems happy and well-adjusted and there isn't really anything to complain about. My ruther's are no longer valid to him... Ugh. The Jesse sighting led to rather more imbibing than I had originaly intended so of course I could not get myself home. What kind of a night with me would it be if I managed to stay sober enough to drive, or sober enough to not vomit on the way home? I took a nap and awoke to finish out the party. And finally, we get to my point. Alfee started crying because he is a little scared. I told hime