Interest

1. books:
   Okay admit it..you loved Harry Potter too! Books are just awesome. I keep a list of books my friends mention in random conversation so I can pick them up later. Some day I will have a room with floor to ceiling windows, a fireplace, overstuffed furniture and hundreds hardback books.
2. buildings:
   I really like to look at buildings. I think architecture really says a lot about a town and a person. My favorite thing about my trip to Las Vegas this year was that no two casinos are built alike, inside or out and the attention to detail is amazing.
3. college:
   I am practically obsessed with college right now because I feel like a complete dummy half the time. A two-year degree just isn't cutting it so I am trying to get back into school. Hopefully though, as I am completing my Bachelors I won't be among the people casually talking about how they'll be making 70k upon graduation and that is a pretty good supplemental income. My husband and I make less than that together.
4. crafts:
   I'm a crafty mom. Scrapbooking and remaking antiques and sewing....all that good stuff. Hopefully Emily will be into that stuff too.
5. dance:
   I am a great dancer! Okay, not really. I do love to dance though. I wish I could take every type of dance lesson known to mankind. That's be cool.
6. desserts:
   Don't lie, you want to eat dessert first too. My sweet tooth is enormous! Cheesecake is definitely my favorite, but I find I've become picky.
7. movies:
   I'm too poor to actually go to the movies, but I do like them Cheesy romances, action comedies, dark comedies, super thought provoking. It's all good.

Sigh

I can't beleive I'm actually bored at work. Usually I have a lot to do, but doing payroll is the most life-sucking job ever. Seriously, on the weeks payroll is due I total numbers until my eyes hurt and my brain is numb. On weeks that payroll is not due, I am so tired of totaling numbers that I don't want to do anything. You seriously do not use your brain in this position. It is all adding and data entry. Tee only reason I keep making stupid mistakes is because I am in a hurry - just like all normal people who have to do second grade math I cannot wait until cross training is over and I can get back to my travel. Also, I secretly think Amy is sabotaging me. Well, now that al that is out, I feel a little better. Things seem to be going pretty well. Emily is a dream. She's so big now, with all her crawling and trying to feed herself and sometimes being cranky because she's getting new little teeth. She chatters all the time now that she's got the tubes in her ears. Being a mom is nice. This month promises to be pretty busy I feel like I have a real social life. I have been invited to two weddings and Jesse says we can go to both, so that's a treat. Yesterday I threw a little birthday party for my mom. Parties with my family are so boring - sit around for two hours with my parents and grandparents and eat cake and open presents. Whoopie. They seem to think that is nice, though This next weekend is Mother's Day so we'll do it all over again. That makes four events in one month. This year is my first official Mother's Day.I guess I should be excited, but seriously, Emily doesn't have a clue what's going on and it's not like she's going to to make me anything. It'll be cool when she is older and can make me some crazy macaroni art that's been spray painted gold or something. We have a paint your own ceramics place here in town and I think that kind of stuff is really cool. Someday Emi will be old enough to take so we can make a mug for her dad. That'll be awesome! I got my mom and Beth some really cool vases and I ordered my Grandma a beautiful flower arrangement. The arrangement is by this lady here in town and I recommend her to everyone in BCS. You can got to www.blissflowerstudio.com and see her stuff. It's really original. I even once had her do an arrangement and I flew it to MO for Jesse's grandmother when she was sick a few years back. I suppose I should be out of here by now. I'm really sort of milking the clock (which is bad) and my conscience is starting to get to me. Call your mothers, J-

Decisions and Baby talk

Hi Folk, I'm unusually slow at work so I have a little time to update. I know you've all missed me so. Emily is fabulous! This is my favorite age so far. she can be a pill at home where there's not much for her to look at and listen to, but she is an absolute angel in public. She loves people and basketball games and being outdoors. She smiles and kicks and coos and is trying to wave and clap. All is bliss in babydom. Until you have kids you have no idea you can love someone this much. You just want to break your heart in two so the pieces will mend back bigger. Sometimes I can't breathe I love her so much! It's great. She's beautiful - I never knew I could make something so beautiful. Other stuff is not as blissful as babydom. Jesse is getting more and more frustrated with his job and he sometimes brings his bad mood home, which is not usual for him. I really really think he should go back to school. I think he'd be happier in the long run with a degree. It seems like no one really cares what your degree is in as long as you have one. I am trying hard to stifle my bossy bone. He just keeps looking for jobs with no success and I feel the lack of institutional learning is the reason. Not everyone can tell Jesse is a genius by looking at a resume. He practically has a photographic memory and can absorb info like nobody's business. He's daunted by the amount of debt school would put us in and his current job will hear nothing of him going back. They are such assholes sometimes. Le sigh. My job is going pretty well though. Now that I've been here over a year I see more holes in the system. Working in the business office can be hard because you see all the benefits the coaches reap. Generally I'm okay with it, but I do get a little green every so often. I would love a new car. Getting a baby in and out of a 2-door car is rough. I would love to have more hobbies, but hobbies are expensive. I guess everyone gets a little material every now and then. Jesse has looked for jobs in other towns, which is daunting because I like my job enough to make a career out of A&M Athletics. I don't have a desire to leave. I feel like I am finally finding balance between mom, employee, wife, friend and just Janice and the idea of moving and disrupting all of that is daunting. On the other hand the prospect of living in San Marcus or Round Rock or Conroe is nice to ponder. I just don't know what will happen. This entry is becoming very long. We are planning a trip to Vegas in August. We found really cheap flights and a good price on the New York-New York hotel and casino. That's five stars baby! My parents are going to get us tickets to a Cirque show as our birthday gifts. I am very excited. Yay for tax refunds. Maybe I'll win some money. Maybe I'll win enough to buy a car. A girl can dream.

Pulling it back together

So here I am finding time to update. Now that Christmas break is over, I find that I am starting to pull my life back together around Emily. I think I've been doing better at work and getting more stuff done around the house. You guys have no idea how slug-like lazy and tossed about I had been feeling. I think I may have had some minor postpartum. Looking back at 2004 I am glad a new year is starting. I can just move forward with the positive benefits of what I found to be a very hard year and a half. I think I may have grown a little as a person. I so badly what to say that I think I may have grown up, but I know as soon as I say that I'll reveal what a child I still am. I was so happy to hear of Hava's engagement over the holidays. I love weddings. I saw my Ben and sweet Sarah. I even saw Kim. She's accomplished a lot. A whole lot. I think Dennia and I are back on the right track...I am getting used to what all her attitudes mean. I am hoping to see more of Clare outside of work. I want to play more with Jessie and Justin. Oh! I am so excited to be taking some wine classes this spring at our local winery. It'll be me Jesse, Justin and Jessica. So much fun. It's nice to do something new. I am also thinking if becoming a certified professional office assistant. Something new for the resume since I have never gotten past an associates degree. 2005 is going to be great. I have resolved to get my pre-baby body back and to be on time for everything. Also this year, I am going to learn about investing and baseball. Hopefully by telling everybody this I will be encouraged to get it all done so as to avoid the embarrassment of a negatory answer when you ask me how it's all going. Maybe this year we'll also get more of our house fixed up. Tricia, good luck with your worm garden. It's icky, but cool. Hava, good luck with med school. Keep up the good work. Frank, good luck with finishing strong in school and filling the void. Remember, don't get involved with free agents called Tex and that it isn't pink - it's light red. I hope your mom feels better. My mom ended up in the hospital a few years ago with chrons disease and has been having to control it with meds ever since. I am always a willing ear. Plus, I am a better listener on the comp because I don't interrupt nearly as much as in person. HAPPY NEW YEAR! J-

Elated and Depressed

Home life could not be better. Jesse and I are doing so wonderfully as we come up on our 3 year anniversary. I think I'm going to get him a leather jacket. He's really been wanting one AND leather happens to be the 3 year anniversary gift of choice. Emily is such a doll. I had no idea babies changed so fast. I was away last weekend and I swear she changed in just 3 days. It's insane She's so gorgeous.She's three and a half months old now. Can you beleive it! They've just flown by. She's already trying to hold her bottle by herself. This resulted in a few tears of pride and joy earlier this week. Soon we'll need to baby proof our house because she'll be crawling. Sigh and smile. Work should be going great as well, but it's not. I thought I'd made a really good friend in Dennia but I pissed her off earlier this week and she has made it as obvious as possible that I am scum. It's awful working when your friend is giving you the cold shoulder. I finally called her to find out what the deal is. She just said that I had said something that was disrespectful of her in front of one of our student workers and she was still too mad to talk to me. I just want to cry. I spent all of high school jumping through hoops for my friends and I thought I was finally out of all that. Now here I am again with no idea what I could have possibly said that was so wrong. Honestly, I am really upset that she was mean to me for a week with no explanation instead of looking at me when I said whatever it was and saying, "Hey J, that's not cool." I can't imagine saying anything so bad that it could take her a week to cool down enough to talk to me. She says she may be calm enough to talk on Monday but I need to realize that I have respect her as a co-worker. I am so in the dark. It has also been brought to my attention that people think my boss favors me because of how I look and dress. I just don't get that either. Now I am going to have to be super careful about how I dress for work. Who knew 40 and 50 year old women could be so catty. I hate working where I am not liked. I really like my job and most of the people....it just takes a few bad apples and that really stinks. On the upside, I think Clare and I are starting to rekindle our friendship. She's dunking her ring tomorrow night and I might go. That'll be an experience. I am also having lots of fun with Jessica. Old friends are the best. Hers and Justin's wedding was really a blast. It was a complete disaster, but a blast nonetheless. I really liked playing bridesmaid. Hopefully we can set up a fun couples night soon. We are also planning a trip to either New Orleans or Vegas (woohoo). Old friends and strong drinks until next time, J-

Ahhh motherhood

Omigosh my kid is so beautiful! And I am not biased because everyone says so! If I knew how to post a picture they would be plastered all over this entry (and the next and the next and the next). Emily is such a great baby! She is already sleeping 9 hours at night. Her little nose and full lips are to die for! She looks like her Papa. She's so good, that even labor was easy. I popped her out in only 3 and 1/2 hours. The first two weeks were so surreal, I kept thinking someone was going to come and say "Thanks for babysitting, see ya later." But she's really mine. I've been back at work for a few weeks now so posts will be few and far between and probably short. I'm just waiting for a phone call here at work so I can go home so I have some extra time to post. Putting Emily in daycare was so hard! I cried all day (and I really don't care if that makes me a loser). It seems like everyone had either a rough or blah first week of school. I hope things get better for everyone.

Updating a little late

Ahh the joys of parenthood. Okay so I'm not a parent yet, but I'm pretending to know what it feels like. I am swamped and exhausted! So I told ya'll I'd update after every doctor's appointment, but I've gotten a little behind. In any case, all is still going well so just chalk it up to no news is good news. I've started going almost weekly now so I'll be back in the waiting room on Thurs. My Doctor is so cool! In gerneral I guess people think ob/gyn's are kind of icky, but I just can't think of Dr. Zivney like that. He's so nice and really funny and just cool about everything. It also helps that I am having s close to perfect pregnancy. I hope they are all this good. Not that I want to find out for a few years.Sunday was my baby shower. It was really nice, very intimate. There was a nice generation range there so everyone had someone to talk to. I got so many cute little outfits for Emily and we FINALLY got one of our big items. I'll admit it, I'm in it for the material gain. I really want people to buy me things. We need things. So now Emily has her crib and a play pen and a swing. Still no carseat, stroller, or carrier, but I have one more shower yet. Jesse and I just want to hold off on those big ticket items until know what we're getting. While I sound super material right now, I'm sure everyone understands that we still have to pay our electric bill and house payment and save for the hospital and Emily's daycare. It'a crazy expensive to be grown up! Enough with the whining though, I want to be talking about my nice shower with the yummy cake and the lovely friends and whatnot. So far we've gotten two homemade baby blankets: one from my mom and one from Mrs. Short. Mrs. Short has the most horribly mangled hands on account of arthritis and diabetes, so her handsewn blanket really is full of love. Yay for Mommies of friends! My kid has also been inducted into the service since my cousin and her husband sent a little pink t-shirt that labels Emily as the "Littlest Marine." The adorableness just doesn't end.I am so excited that July is almost here. I cannot wait to see my little girl. I'm already having speration anxiety about putting her in daycare while I'm at work. I mean so far she's been with me 24/7 and I can't even see her or smell her or play with her yet. It's just horrible to think that when I can finally do those things I have to be somewhere without her. I guess that's a mom thing. Jesse thinks I'm being too negative. SHe's going to be so pretty though. I'll just die of pleasure if she gets Jess's dimples! I'll let ya'll know if the due date gets pushed up (which it might since I've already dropped).Tiny little clothes and lavendar baby bath soap,J-